Blessed with MS has moved

The Blessed with MS blog has been moved to http://www.blessedlifeministries.com/blog/ .  Exciting things are happening for this ministry!!  See you at the new site!

Refuge in the Storm

I have been very blessed recently to be back at my baseline, or close to it.  In other words, my MS has settled down for a bit.  It has been so nice to have energy and a clear mind.  For close to a year now I have been so out of sorts and I am looking back today wondering how I made it through. Of course, I did not have to wonder very long, the answer is as obvious as any answer could be.  I made it through because I sought refuge in the Lord.  I believed in the Lord and his truth.  I stayed in his truth and God is good, he protected me in my time of need, he took care of me because I turned to him. (Nahum 1:7)  I know that my disease will rear it's head again, as is always the case with MS, but I know I will be cared for, loved, guided and protected every time it does.  I know this because God's word is truth, and his truth has set me free (John 8:32) from this disease. I am so blessed that my God loves me, that he is my father and he will always care for me. So today, I am going to sit back and relax.  I am going to enjoy the grace God has poured over me and enjoy my life.

My Heavenly Father, how great your love is that you care for me. I am but one little sheep in your multitude of a flock, yet you know me by name, you know my heart and you cover me with your grace.  You give me refuge in the storm that I face with this disease.  You give me peace and protect me.  Thank you, Lord, without you my life would be nothing.  I praise you today, and every day Lord, you are my savior, my God, my father. Amen.

"I Will Give You Rest"

When Moses was told to take the people to the Promised Land he felt afraid and unsure.  He asked the Lord God to show him God's ways so that he could know God more fully, he wanted to be close to God.  God replied with “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14).  I can imagine Moses sitting there wondering what the future would bring, how would he get all of these people to the Promised Land, and telling God “If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place." (Exodus 33:15). The interaction between Moses and God in these scriptures is one of desire, a desire to know one another, it is an intimate relationship and this is the type of relationship I desire with my Heavenly Father. I can imagine how Moses felt, because I feel that way a lot!  I am unsure of this disease and what my future holds.  Will it progress slowly or quickly? Will I lose my ability to walk, to see, or to write? What if I lose my mind? My future is really unsure, but just like Moses, I have asked the Lord to go with me on my journey.  Just like Moses, if God doesn't personally go with me, I don't want to go there at all.  The beauty of this is that I never have to go anywhere without God.  He loves me and wants to know me personally, and I, in return, want the same.  No matter what course my disease takes, I will not be alone.  He will walk with me, he will cover me with his grace and he will give me rest. I'm not just talking about physical rest, he will give me peace and peace of mind is the best rest I could possibly be given!  God is compassionate and loving.  He provides me rest, especially on the worst days when he knows I need it most.  Thank you my Heavenly Father, for walking this long road with me and providing me the rest I need and the relationship I so greatly desire!

Trusting His Word

During a study tonight the topic of trust was being discussed.  This made me think about myself and how much trust it has taken to let God use my circumstances for the better.  Having a disease like MS can be so frustrating, so depressing and at times can really make me angry.  It is during those times that I feel at my lowest that I truly have to put my trust in God and his will for my life.  I have to trust that even on my bad days, or my worst days, God has a plan.  Trusting can be so hard when you feel so down!  Tonight, however, the light bulb went off when my fellow sisters and I were discussing trust, trusting God.  Trust has many meanings, but the definition that struck me most was reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing.  I do rely on God, without him I am nothing, but tonight I realized just who I am truly relying on.  Notice the word "integrity" in this definition?  If there ever was a true definition of integrity, it would be God. God is perfect integrity. Every action he takes is in true form to his character.  Think about this for a minute: God is gracious and is full of compassion, he is forgiving, he is merciful, he is kind, and he is loving. He has never done anything to the contrary. If there ever was a place to put my trust, it is definitely in the one who OWNS integrity, who IS integrity! It was tonight that I realized, there is no one else that can compare to God and my trust has been placed in the right place.  My trust will stay in God because I know that during my lifetime of MS God will be gracious to me, he will show me compassion when I am frustrated or angry, he will forgive me of my harsh emotions and have mercy on me when I cry out in anger.  He will show me kindness and gentle guidance as he leads me through the darkest valleys and above all he will love me.  He will love me for who I am because I am his daughter... his lamb... his child.  So, yes, I do rely on the integrity of someone....I rely on the integrity of God and that is the perfect place to put my trust!

Continual Faithfulness and Grace

There have been so many times in my life where I have wondered why God would let me be sick, why doesn't he heal this horrible disease, why do I have to suffer?  It is when I think this way that I am waivering in my faith.  The thought came to me today that I am not being very faithful to God when I question my circumstances.  God tells me that he will renew my strength, that I will run and will not be weary, that I will walk and will not faint (Isaiah 40:31).  As a Christian woman I need have no doubts that it will happen, when God is ready.  I must remember that my life is not on my time schedule, but on the Lord's.  I have to remember that he is faithful and gracious. 

Psalms 145:13 "For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom. You rule generation after generation. The LORD is faithful in all he says; he is gracious in all he does."  This scripture does not tell me God will be faithful when he feels like it, or when I am behaving well, or when I am being faithful to him. It tells me he is faithful in ALL he says, and he is gracious in ALL he does. Even when I am not so faithful, even when I am questioning my circumstances. When he tells me I will have renewed strength, or that I will run and not be weary, he means it!  As his daughter, it is my responsibility to be faithful to him in my understanding and belief of his word.  I may not know when I will be renewed, but I can rest assired that I WILL be renewed.  I am so blessed to have the continual grace and faithfulness of my Heavenly Father.

Heavenly Father, I ask your forgiveness for my unfaithful ways and my less than gracious actions.  Lord I know your word is truth and your truth has set me free. I need not worry about my earthy affliction because you will renew my body, you will walk with me and you will run with me.  You sustain me here on earth and you will remove my affliction in heaven.  Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and the amazing grace that you pour out on me every day. Amen.

Quiet Strength

'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.' Isaiah 30:15 

After making it through the holidays, and completely overdoing myself, I have had a challenging couple of days.  I spent yesterday out and about enjoying myself at the art museum and military museum, but toward the end of my outing my legs decided they would partake no more.  I was lucky enough to have my daughter there to help me out to the car.  As we headed home I felt the frustration of knowing that I am in for another exacerbation, but I also know that it will end.  To add to the frustration, my favorite weather blew in today...snow!  I love, more than anything, to get out in the snow and play with my children.  Today I cannot, because my exacerbation is continuing to take my ability to walk.  I have spent most of my day in my recliner and the rest in my wheelchair.  Am I bummed? Absolutely.  Have I complained, absolutely  not!  I am being quiet, both outwardly and inwardly when it comes to this frustration.  I am trusting the Lord that my ability to walk will return soon.  Even though I go through frustrations, anger and sadness at the changes that have come into my life since my MS has started to take over, I always know that my Lord God loves me, he is here with me and will always walks with me, and when I can't walk...he carries me.  Right now I am being carried.  So today, as I sit in my recliner and watch the beautiful snowflakes fall outside, I can be thankful, today my Heavenly Father is sitting with me enjoying the show, letting me know that I will get through this. 

As I read this scripture it reminds me of how much God loves me...he loves me so much that just as he told the people of Judah to return to him, to find rest and strength in him, he also tells me to return to him as well.  Just when I am feeling sorry for myself because of my MS, or just when I am angry about my MS....God tells me to return to him.  He tells me to dwell on him, not my symptoms, not my disease...only on him. When I return my focus to him, I am no longer unhappy about my trials, because God walks me through those trials and sees me through.  This, my friends, is how I choose to live my life because this is the only way to live my life.  I choose to return to him.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving!

Isaiah 7:14 Therefore the Lord Himself shall give you a sign: Behold, the young woman who is unmarried and a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel [God with us].

How beautiful these words are.  Today, as I celebrated Christmas with my beautiful family and friends I realized how blessed I truly am.  Today, I was blessed to be surrounded by people who love me, who adore me, who accept me for who I am.  They are my support and my life and I love them.  As I sat and thought of this I also thought about the blessing that happened on this day, the day Jesus was born.  He was the first to love me no matter what I did.  He was the first to support me, adore me, accept me and walk with me everyday, and he continues to do so. He surrounds me, in my wonderful days and during my dark hours.  He is my support and I love him just as he loves me.  What made this thought even more beautiful is the fact that he knew of me, he loved me, before I even set foot on this earth.  He loved me so much that he gave his life for me.  Now that, my friends, is a Christmas present that keeps on giving!  So today was my day to reflect and realize the biggest blessing of all, my salvation provided by Jesus himself!