I Am More....

Driving today I heard a song that filled my heart with joy. The song is "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North and one part of the song really opened my eyes: "'Cause this is not about what you've done, But what's been done for you. This is not about where you've been, But where your brokenness brings you to....You are more than the choices that you've made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade."  How beautiful to hear these words!!  I am more than anything in this life..I am more because I am remade in my God's eyes.  I am not just a mom, a daughter or a friend.  I am not just a sick woman with Multiple Sclerosis.  I AM God's child. You are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:26 I am more than the disease that fills my earthly body because my life belongs to God, my disease does not define me...my life in Christ defines me! Psalm 119:114 You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.  My body may be filled with a disease, but the Lord is my refuge, his word my source of hope, this disease is earthly, but my hope is bigger and more powerful than any disease I can face here on earth. Every morning I can and will wake up knowing the Lord is my strength!“…the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Neh. 8:10 It is God's love that gets me through, it is my hope in the Lord that brings me healing and he is my God, because of him.... I am MORE!

Oh Lord in Heaven, your beautiful name fills my heart with joy.  Because of you I know I am more than a disease, I am your child.  I am your child Lord and I know you walk with me daily.  Lord I come to  you for refuge and feel your presence.  I praise your name Lord, I thank you Lord, because without you...I am nothing.  Amen

It Isn't Always Easy

Most people think that I spend everyday feeling blessed and happy, however, I have my days.  Having MS and seeing the blessings is not always easy, but every time I have problems with finding the blessing, the Lord always seems to make sure I find it, even if it is during a bad day!  Yesterday was a trying day for me.  I am in another exacerbation and have not been feeling well.  My family had a planned trip to the airshow, which meant I had to go in my wheelchair.  I have been to the store a few times in the wheelchair, but not to a place where there will be thousands of people.  I was feeling very vulnerable and afraid and let's just say I had the meltdown of all meltdowns and ended up in my bathroom with gigantic crocodile tears streaming down my face.    Psalm 62:1 "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him".  I don't need the approval of anyone around me but the Lord.  I realized it did not matter what anyone at that show thought of me, what mattered was that I put my pain in the Lord's hands and went to the airshow with my family.  I realized that I do not need to worry about anything but my relationship with God and all other things will fall into place.  I had a great time, my family had a great time, and no one stared at me or made remarks, after all, I wasn't the only person there in a wheelchair!
I have found that we, as humans, tend to over think things and over dramatize things. It is better to let the Lord take your worries, your pain, your suffering and spend your time enjoying the beautiful life the Lord has given you.  I have decided to worry more about my walk with the Lord and less time worrying about this disease and what other people may think of me, life is much better that way!!

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Be Confident

“Be confident, my heart, because the LORD has been good to me” (Ps 116:7)  Oh how this scripture speaks to me!  Even with a diagnosis of MS, my Lord has been so good to me!!  The funny thing is, before this diagnosis, I could have told you many ways that I felt life was not going well, but hard pressed to tell you the good things God had done for me.  I was too busy, too much to do, to many things to worry about, so thinking about the good things just wasn't a high priority.  My how things can change when the Lord tells you to slow down! My diagnosis has given me permission to slow down, to take in my life and the many blessings God gives me. I don't need to speed around all day long, after all, I really can't! The MS won't allow for that, but it will allow for breaks in my day.  These breaks give me time to reflect on my life and my walk with the Lord.  It allows me to see the many good things God has done in my life, and continues to do.  I am amazed at the beauty of this scripture, mainly because I had never slowed down long enough to see the beauty!  My heart is confident in the many ways the Lord has been good to me, and the blessing of MS was just the start!!


Lord in Heaven, I thank you for the blessing of MS.  You gave me a chance to slow down, to realize the wonderful ways you have been good to me.  Lord I am confident that my journey with you will always be good, even in times of hardship, I will worship you and see the good.  I will walk with you daily and am confident that you will carry me when need be!  Oh the blessing of your salvation Lord warms my heart and my soul.  Thank you Lord, for the continued good in my life. Amen!

Beautiful Circumstances

A friend shared this with me today: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - 1 Tessalonians 5:16-18.  Some circumstance may be harder to be thankful for than others, but we must remember to be thankful in ALL circumstances.  The Bible doesn't say to be thankful for certain circumstances, or to be thankful for the good circumstances.  It doesn't say to complain about the bad circumstances and just rejoice in the good.  I tells us to be thankful in all circumstances. For those of us diagnosed with a incurable disease, such as MS, it can be hard to gives thanks for something like that! Some people ask me how I can be so upbeat when I have a disease that will never disappear and constantly makes life difficult.  I am upbeat because I give thanks in all circumstances and I know that there is good in this disease.  I also know that one day, it will go away, and I will be healed and happy in the arms of my Lord! The bible tells me The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. Psalm 91:14.  I will be rescued and I am always protected! So yes, I rejoice in the circumstance of MS.  I thank my Lord for this disease, because it has brought me closer to him, and that makes it all worthwhile to me!

I Take Comfort in This

This morning I read a scripture that truly says it all: "At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One." Job 6:10  I relate so much to this scripture!  MS brings so much pain, whether it be physical pain such as my legs and arms, or mental pain such as depression or anxieties, but through all of this pain there is one thing I have never done and that is deny the Lord's word. Just like Job, I find comfort in the Lord's words.  His word heals my soul and allows me to find comfort, joy and peace in my illness.  I also know that even though I am  one of God's children, i am not immune to suffering. I live in a place where suffering has become normal, but that does not mean that I should sit and complain, but rather I should find joy in my suffering.  I know that God is using my suffering to transform my character and the character of those around me.  He is using this suffering in a way that will be beautiful.  He has used my suffering to bring me closer to him, and I am perfectly fine with that! I have learned to rely on the Lord, to rely on  his Grace to pull me through, and his grace is beautiful!

Lord in Heaven, I praise you this morning! I am thankful for the grace you pour onto me and my family.  I thank you for bringing me closer to you and I pray for continued guidance during my trials.  I thank you for my life and the trials that have come with it. I thank you for your word and the healing peace that pours out of it an a daily basis. Thank you Lord.  Amen.

Accountability

I had a great conversation today with one of my best friends.  She is truly a beautiful sister in Christ and has helped me through so much in my life.  While we talked she said something that just clicked in my head and made me think about accountability.  I thought about how accountable I have truly been when it comes to my walk with Christ, and my eyes were opened to many mistakes I have made in the past, and some that I still make today.  While there is no way that I can be perfect in the flesh, there are so many ways in which I could do better.  So what exactly is accountability?  I see it as this: I am accountable for everything I do, I have to answer to God, when my times comes, and be accountable for every action I chose on this earth.  I know the basic rights and wrongs, and do very well when it comes to making good choices in those areas, but what about other areas?  How do I learn from mistakes I make?  How do I make sure that I make the right choice when I am faced with an angry woman at the checkout line at the grocery store?  The answer is simple: I need to be asking myself what will God say to me about this?  The other day I was face to face with a woman who felt like I cut in front of her at the grocery store, she was yelling at me and being very rude in front of everyone in the store.  This was my chance to be accountable for my own actions and show her what a true Christian woman would do, but did I?  Let me just say I failed miserably!  But I also took something from this whole scene, I learned to think before I speak, I learned to ask myself "What will God say to me about this?"  I also learned that I need to feel a little humility so that I can be open to what I am thinking and doing so that I  can receive encouragement and reproof, when it is needed.  Talking to my friend today gave me encouragement and made me realize that I need to continue to grow in my walk with the Lord and in my accountability to him and to others. I was able to receive that encouragement and apply it to my life because I was open to what I was hearing.  I find it most important to stay open and honest with yourself and the Lord, and the growth will continue and your life will be blessed in so many beautiful ways!

Lord in Heaven, I worship your name!  You find so many ways to bless me and teach me.  Lord I pray for a continued open mind and open heart so that I may continue to grow closer to you.  Lord I pray that you show me the people in my life that will serve as great accountability partners and keep them close in my life. I pray that you show me the areas that I need to be more accountability and strengthen me in those areas. Amen

Nothing Is Impossible

A certain scripture came across my path this morning and lit my heart up with amazing hope and love!!  Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed...nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20-21  How beautiful is that?  Jesus tells us to have faith, even the smallest amount of faith makes all things possible.  When I read this, so many different trials in my life flashed in front of me. Some were small and a lot were huge, including my MS, but I thought about them a little deeper this time.  Who am I kidding, I REALLY thought about the many different trials I have faced and how I actually made it through them.  Did I really make it through them alone, all on my own, or was God there with me, helping me through? The answer is simple, I never do anything on my own, because my life is not my own. It belongs to God, I am just a servant.  Each and every trial I face is never faced alone, he is with me every single second of my journey through this life.  This includes my current walk with MS.  I do not consider this a fight with MS, because there is no reason to fight it.  I walk with it and God walks with me.  I will never face this disease alone. So many wonder why I consider this disease a blessing, and this is one of those reasons.  It has brought my relationship with God to a whole new level.  This is why I can face the walk with MS and not worry about the fight.  For the first 10 years of this disease we were not sure what it was, and my faith was that of a mustard seed, but that seed has grown into a beautiful tree that sprouts new life each and every day.  It created a hope for me that has only grown over time.  That small little mustard seed made getting through easier, and it now makes walking through a breeze. Notice I said "walking" through, because I no longer just "get" through it, I walk through it with the amazing grace of God surrounding me. Finding peace with my disease was never impossible, the peace was always there, just waiting for me find it.

Lord God, you tell me that even with a little faith nothing is impossible.  Lord I build on that faith every day and thank you so much for the blessing of MS.  Without this blessing I may have never found the peace I was looking for, and I may have never grown into the beautiful daughter you intended me to be.  Lord I continue to grow everyday, and I ask for your continued walk, guidance and grace as I do so. Amen.