Driving today I heard a song that filled my heart with joy. The song is "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North and one part of the song really opened my eyes: "'Cause this is not about what you've done, But what's been done for you. This is not about where you've been, But where your brokenness brings you to....You are more than the choices that you've made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade." How beautiful to hear these words!! I am more than anything in this life..I am more because I am remade in my God's eyes. I am not just a mom, a daughter or a friend. I am not just a sick woman with Multiple Sclerosis. I AM God's child. I am more than the disease that fills my earthly body because my life belongs to God, my disease does not define me...my life in Christ defines me! Psalm 119:114 You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope. My body may be filled with a disease, but the Lord is my refuge, his word my source of hope, this disease is earthly, but my hope is bigger and more powerful than any disease I can face here on earth. Every morning I can and will wake up knowing the Lord is my strength!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
It Isn't Always Easy
Most people think that I spend everyday feeling blessed and happy, however, I have my days. Having MS and seeing the blessings is not always easy, but every time I have problems with finding the blessing, the Lord always seems to make sure I find it, even if it is during a bad day! Yesterday was a trying day for me. I am in another exacerbation and have not been feeling well. My family had a planned trip to the airshow, which meant I had to go in my wheelchair. I have been to the store a few times in the wheelchair, but not to a place where there will be thousands of people. I was feeling very vulnerable and afraid and let's just say I had the meltdown of all meltdowns and ended up in my bathroom with gigantic crocodile tears streaming down my face. Psalm 62:1 "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him". I don't need the approval of anyone around me but the Lord. I realized it did not matter what anyone at that show thought of me, what mattered was that I put my pain in the Lord's hands and went to the airshow with my family. I realized that I do not need to worry about anything but my relationship with God and all other things will fall into place. I had a great time, my family had a great time, and no one stared at me or made remarks, after all, I wasn't the only person there in a wheelchair!
I have found that we, as humans, tend to over think things and over dramatize things. It is better to let the Lord take your worries, your pain, your suffering and spend your time enjoying the beautiful life the Lord has given you. I have decided to worry more about my walk with the Lord and less time worrying about this disease and what other people may think of me, life is much better that way!!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Be Confident
“Be confident, my heart, because the LORD has been good to me” (Ps 116:7) Oh how this scripture speaks to me! Even with a diagnosis of MS, my Lord has been so good to me!! The funny thing is, before this diagnosis, I could have told you many ways that I felt life was not going well, but hard pressed to tell you the good things God had done for me. I was too busy, too much to do, to many things to worry about, so thinking about the good things just wasn't a high priority. My how things can change when the Lord tells you to slow down! My diagnosis has given me permission to slow down, to take in my life and the many blessings God gives me. I don't need to speed around all day long, after all, I really can't! The MS won't allow for that, but it will allow for breaks in my day. These breaks give me time to reflect on my life and my walk with the Lord. It allows me to see the many good things God has done in my life, and continues to do. I am amazed at the beauty of this scripture, mainly because I had never slowed down long enough to see the beauty! My heart is confident in the many ways the Lord has been good to me, and the blessing of MS was just the start!!
Lord in Heaven, I thank you for the blessing of MS. You gave me a chance to slow down, to realize the wonderful ways you have been good to me. Lord I am confident that my journey with you will always be good, even in times of hardship, I will worship you and see the good. I will walk with you daily and am confident that you will carry me when need be! Oh the blessing of your salvation Lord warms my heart and my soul. Thank you Lord, for the continued good in my life. Amen!
Lord in Heaven, I thank you for the blessing of MS. You gave me a chance to slow down, to realize the wonderful ways you have been good to me. Lord I am confident that my journey with you will always be good, even in times of hardship, I will worship you and see the good. I will walk with you daily and am confident that you will carry me when need be! Oh the blessing of your salvation Lord warms my heart and my soul. Thank you Lord, for the continued good in my life. Amen!
Monday, October 4, 2010
Beautiful Circumstances
A friend shared this with me today: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. - 1 Tessalonians 5:16-18. Some circumstance may be harder to be thankful for than others, but we must remember to be thankful in ALL circumstances. The Bible doesn't say to be thankful for certain circumstances, or to be thankful for the good circumstances. It doesn't say to complain about the bad circumstances and just rejoice in the good. I tells us to be thankful in all circumstances. For those of us diagnosed with a incurable disease, such as MS, it can be hard to gives thanks for something like that! Some people ask me how I can be so upbeat when I have a disease that will never disappear and constantly makes life difficult. I am upbeat because I give thanks in all circumstances and I know that there is good in this disease. I also know that one day, it will go away, and I will be healed and happy in the arms of my Lord! The bible tells me The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. Psalm 91:14. I will be rescued and I am always protected! So yes, I rejoice in the circumstance of MS. I thank my Lord for this disease, because it has brought me closer to him, and that makes it all worthwhile to me!
I Take Comfort in This
This morning I read a scripture that truly says it all: "At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One." Job 6:10 I relate so much to this scripture! MS brings so much pain, whether it be physical pain such as my legs and arms, or mental pain such as depression or anxieties, but through all of this pain there is one thing I have never done and that is deny the Lord's word. Just like Job, I find comfort in the Lord's words. His word heals my soul and allows me to find comfort, joy and peace in my illness. I also know that even though I am one of God's children, i am not immune to suffering. I live in a place where suffering has become normal, but that does not mean that I should sit and complain, but rather I should find joy in my suffering. I know that God is using my suffering to transform my character and the character of those around me. He is using this suffering in a way that will be beautiful. He has used my suffering to bring me closer to him, and I am perfectly fine with that! I have learned to rely on the Lord, to rely on his Grace to pull me through, and his grace is beautiful!
Lord in Heaven, I praise you this morning! I am thankful for the grace you pour onto me and my family. I thank you for bringing me closer to you and I pray for continued guidance during my trials. I thank you for my life and the trials that have come with it. I thank you for your word and the healing peace that pours out of it an a daily basis. Thank you Lord. Amen.
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